I myself am running the Starwind 4.0 free san..
I would get issues with that as well.
I run 4x ESX Servers, and 1 physical Win2k3 Server w\ Starwind running (home lab-- evaluation is thy friend)
1. My workaround - as it would be in a production environment is.
2. Every ESX server has to be off, prior to starting the Starwind server.
3. Once starwind is up, then turn on every esx server.
4.... BUT when you turn off servers, 1. Every esx server - Maintinance mode first.. Then turn off. It is more a Soft iscsi issue, than a ESX or Starwind issue..
Little workaround makes the HA/DRS stop fully funcioning.. Puts the server in maintinance, and allows for safe shutdowns, without the esx server doing scsi/ISCSI scans and such.
In testing, i find the Starwind actually works VERY well.. I have used a VIrtual STARWIND server on a older esx server, and performance was o..k... Meaning, it rocked... Not all the bells and whistles,, yet for a virtual iscsi san, performance was very well.
as a stand alone server, i use a white box q9550, 3gb ram, w\14x 147gb 15k drives.. And it rocks.. the UI, is very basic.. and not a lot of thrills, but then again, main job is the deployment of storage.. i am so looking forward to 5.0.. Can easily hit 100% Nic utilization.. I/O is very decent... In testing i can at a whim reboot 23+ virtual machines, and performance is expected...Next goal will be to try 3x 128gb SSD drives via the Starwind..