Although I could not find exact answer concerning esxi & trim, I suppose trim is not supported on vmfs5. Reason is simple: it is not worth the effort to implement it, because even if it was supported, it would not work in the most real-world scenarios, when there is another abstraction layer between filesystem and storage (i.e. raid-array, network-storage, etc), which (as of now) do not support trim. But that is not big issue, because ssds today do not rely solely on os-triggered trim, they use much more "inteligent" garbage collection routines.
Concerning SDelete.exe, I do not recommend to use it on ssd, because it actually does not work as expected. You can never be sure this "secure" overwriting works, because there is some over-provisioning space on every ssd used for wear-leveling, and ssd-controller itself decides which cells it overwrites. SDelete might think it is overwriting particular empty sector if the filesystem, but in reality it might be just writing to completely different sector. Even if you just formated your filesystem and wrote it completely full with zeros till the last sector, there still might remain previous data. It is fair to say that "sectors" do not have any practical meaning with ssd.
The only thing I can recommend with ssd to keep it healthy is to guarantee its total over-provisioning is sufficiently high, about 20%. Then ssd-controller has enough space to do wear-leveling, and performance does not drop.