How about using a B&R application to backup each other's VM's to the other's SAN/iSCSI target/drive? If you can mount the iSCSI LUN within the VM (MS iSCSI software) then you could just run B&R software to provide DR to each other's location. Since you're still extremely vulnerable with what I think you're trying to do. Basically, if there's any kind of issue, with the other location, your side goes dark. So a fault at one location brings both down.
You could do a trial of B&R software like Acronis to see if that will do a reasonable job. It could, it would just need to be tested to confirm that it does the job properly.
IMO, there's a reason why clusters have their main storage on location. For B&R, you can have that storage someplace else.
While I do appreciate the thoughts behind what you're trying to do, I see some issues being created that could be avoided. IMO, you don't want to have a single point of failure, that will bring down both locations. As I think I understand what you're looking to do, you would have this (at least for the VM's)... You might be able to get some kind of WAN optimization virtual appliance, or set one up via open source solutions (I haven't looked for either, so I could be off there). That could help with the performance of the B&R solution. Or have it run during times when the servers won't be accessed actively. Like when people are sleeping...
If you're looking to do something like a poor man's SRM, I think you'll need to really alter the initial design concept. IMO, a good compromise would be running the VM's off of the local LUNs, but having the sites backup to LUNs/iSCSI targets on the other site's storage.