Following up on this. It looks like what was happening is that one of the patch baselines I had attached was installing with the result of uninstalling the qfle3 driver.
A while back I had created a patch baseline that literally included everything based on some advice I'd read online when I wasn't getting some patches that our local IT security folks wanted me to get. I had attached that baseline in addition to the Predefined ones to my host. It had always worked fine in the past as it would only apply things that were applicable and did a great job of ignoring anything non-applicable. Never seemed to break anything.
I downloaded the Dell Customized Offline Bundle for 8.0u2 from 3/11/24 and browsed through it to find this .vib file:
VMW_bootbank_qfle3_1.0.67.0-33vmw.802.0.0.22380479.vib
I installed that with "esxcli software vib install -v" and got this message in return:
VIBs Installed: VMW_bootbank_qfle3_1.0.67.0-33vmw.802.0.0.22380479
VIBs Removed: LVO_bootbank_LVO-upgradeclean_2.0.0.7-1OEM.800
The NICs came back after reboot!
After reboot I saw that it was out of compliance for patching, so I remediated and then the NICs were gone again and so was my qfl3e driver. I manually installed the driver again and again was out of compliance. The patch it wanted to apply was: "LVO-replacement_2.0.0.7-1OEM.800".
I don't know what that LVO patch is, but it doesn't like the qfl3e driver.
Once I removed that patch baseline I'm able to patch all the Predefined baselines and get a server in full compliance with all NICs showing.