Hello Carlo,
"1. Increase capacity
I want to add 2 drives to each server. The S3610 is discontinued. Should I add S4510 drives?"
The general recommendation when adding replacing devices used for vSAN is to use devices with the same or higher performance capabilities - the rationale behind this is that if you use slower devices then you can potentially slow down your whole cluster as they will essentially end up 'waiting' on these slower devices to do their share of the work (e.g. if you had one replica of data on a fast device and the other replica on a slow device). Thus I wouldn't recommend S4510 as they are a lower performance class than s3610:
VMware Compatibility Guide - ssd
VMware Compatibility Guide - ssd
"2. Cache drives
I (kind of) followed the 10% cache-capacity ratio when I did one 800GB cache drive to four 1.6TB capacity drives. Should I just add the drives to the existing disk groups (1 drive added to each disk group), or create a new disk group? If I add a new disk group, the P3700 drives are also discontinued, so what replaces them?"
In All-Flash clusters it is more dependant on the workload IO profile than the % cache:capacity ratios (though bigger ratio is preferable and also note Write-buffer is 600GB max per cache-tier device so using something like a 2TB cache-tier device is a bit wasteful and won't add any benefit aside from lifespan over say a 800GB device):
Designing vSAN Disk groups - All Flash Cache Ratio Update - Virtual Blocks
If possible, additional Disk-Groups are always going to be more beneficial than adding to existing ones - better for improving performance (more IO paths and cache), improves resilience in the event of cache-device or deduped Disk-Group failure (as you have more disks left available for component placement).
If you can afford P4800x then do consider these as they are completely different level than P3xxx devices.
"Since my servers are single processor, I had to add a Dell P31H2 expander card to be able to add 4 NVME drives to the R730xd. Would it work, or will I get the full benefit of the Opteron drives if I use them with this expander card?"
This is potentially a pain-point - the use of SAS-expanders with vSAN nodes are only supported in ReadyNodes with specific expanders and configurations, I am not aware if we currently have a support statement with regard to PCI-e splitters but am guessing they would be in the same boat. At a bare minimum using these is going to split the X provided by the lane so I would imagine these won't fully utilise the potential of the devices (if it is hitting cap with reduced X that is).
Bob